Lily Collins and Charlie McDowell’s journey to parenthood has been filled with love, anticipation, and, inevitably, public scrutiny. On January 31, 2025, the couple announced the birth of their daughter, Tove Jane McDowell, via surrogate. What should have been a moment of pure joy was quickly met with unwarranted criticism about their decision to use a gestational carrier.
McDowell, 41, took to Instagram to thank fans for their kind messages while shutting down detractors, reminding them that it’s okay not to be an expert on surrogacy. His response was both firm and humorous, ending with, “That’s all for now because she just pooped and I need to change her diaper.”
Why Lily Collins Chose Surrogacy for Motherhood
Lily Collins opted for a surrogate due to her past struggles with an eating disorder, which impacted her health and influenced her decision to take a safer path to motherhood. She and her husband, Charlie McDowell, expressed deep gratitude for their surrogate, emphasizing the love and care that went into bringing their daughter, Tove Jane, into the world.
Lily Collins and her husband Charlie McDowell announce they welcomed a baby girl named Tove Jane, via surrogate. pic.twitter.com/2ZTnZb4vn7
— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) February 1, 2025
For Collins, 35, the path to motherhood was deeply personal. Her struggles with an eating disorder, which she has openly discussed in past interviews, played a pivotal role in shaping her approach to starting a family.
In a 2017 interview with Us Weekly, she revealed that her desire to have children was a major catalyst in her recovery. “My reason to finally start talking about [my eating disorder] was the moment I realized I wanted a family. I wanted kids. I didn’t want this to be something I bring into that,” she shared. The experience of battling an illness that consumed much of her adolescence instilled in her a heightened awareness of her body’s limitations, possibly influencing her decision to turn to surrogacy.
The couple has been together since 2019 and married in an intimate September 2021 ceremony in Colorado. Collins, the daughter of Genesis frontman Phil Collins and Jill Tavelman, and McDowell, the son of actors Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen, come from Hollywood royalty, but they have kept much of their personal life private. Their surrogacy journey was no exception. They managed to keep their plans under wraps until Tove was born in Northern California earlier that week. Even their close family members, including Mary Steenburgen and Ted Danson, were only spotted visiting the hospital after the birth, signaling how discreet the process had been.
McDowell had hinted at their desire to expand their family months earlier. At the October 2024 premiere of his film, The Summer Book, he admitted, “We would like to move into that next stage, so we’ll see when it happens.” At the time, the public had no idea that the couple’s journey to parenthood was already well underway. Surrogacy, especially among celebrities, is often shrouded in secrecy due to privacy concerns, legal arrangements, and the potential for public backlash. Given Collins’ openness about her past health struggles, it’s easy to understand why she and McDowell wanted to take control of their narrative.
The Realities and Costs of Surrogacy
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The couple’s gratitude for their surrogate was immeasurable. In their birth announcement, Lily Collins wrote, “Words will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way.” The sentiment echoed the experiences of many celebrities who have opted for surrogacy. While some questioned the decision, others applauded Collins for openly acknowledging the woman who carried her child. In an industry where surrogates are often kept anonymous or left unmentioned, her heartfelt message was a refreshing departure from the norm.
Surrogacy is not a decision made lightly, and the logistics behind it can be complex and costly. In the United States, the process can range between $100,000 to $200,000, covering medical expenses, legal fees, and compensation for the surrogate. High-profile parents often take extra precautions, including iron-clad non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) to protect their privacy. While Collins and McDowell have not disclosed specifics, it’s likely that similar measures were in place to ensure a smooth and secure process.
Despite the criticism, Lily Collins and Charlie McDowell remain focused on their growing family. The Emily in Paris star has spoken in the past about how her relationship with McDowell has been a source of strength. In a 2022 interview, she reflected on their bond, saying, “We can kind of conquer anything. We’ve been through so many changes globally, personally, and to be able to have a partner next to you that makes you laugh in times when you need it the most… I just feel so grateful.” Their decision to pursue surrogacy was deeply personal, rooted in love, health considerations, and an unwavering commitment to parenthood.
For those who still question their choice, McDowell’s words serve as a perfect reminder: “It’s OK to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s OK to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume.” What’s not okay? Casting judgment on a couple simply for choosing a path that allowed them to bring their daughter into the world. At the end of the day, Collins and McDowell have what they always wanted—a happy, healthy baby—and that’s what truly matters.
