Neil Gaiman, celebrated for his imaginative works like ‘American Gods’ and ‘The Sandman,’ and Amanda Palmer, the boundary-pushing artist behind ‘The Dresden Dolls,’ shared a marriage that was as unconventional as their individual careers.
However, in 2022, after 11 years together, they called it quits, with their breakup tangled up in controversies around Gaiman. Their story—full of artistic wins, personal decisions, and public drama—has come under the spotlight again in 2025 thanks to fresh allegations against Gaiman.
Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer: A Marriage Under the Spotlight
The couple, who is deservingly cancelled in 2025, met in 2008 in a pretty unconventional manner. Amanda Palmer, 32 at the time, was in the middle of a conflict with her record label and diving deep into the dark, edgy themes of her art. Neil Gaiman, who was 47, was already riding high on his career, with nine of his works turned into films or TV shows, including ‘Stardust’ and ‘Neverwhere.’ They crossed paths when Palmer asked Gaiman for help writing captions for photos of her posing as a “murdered” corpse. Gaiman, intrigued, jumped on board, and that project eventually led to their first meeting. Fast forward three years of dating, and in 2011, they tied the knot at a wedding hosted by their friends, authors Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman.
From the start, their relationship was anything but traditional. Neither of them was into the idea of monogamy, and they were pretty open about having an open marriage. Amanda Palmer often called it freeing, though she admitted it wasn’t always easy. In her memoir, The Art of Asking, she talked about the effort it took to handle jealousy and miscommunication while making things work. Neil Gaiman, on the other hand, admitted he felt pangs of jealousy now and then, but he believed constant communication was the key to making their unique setup work. For years, it seemed to do the trick, even as they juggled busy, high-pressure careers.
But by 2014, things started to fall apart. When Palmer got pregnant with their son, Anthony “Ash” Palmer Gaiman, the couple decided to rethink how their marriage worked. They agreed to “close” their open relationship for a while, hoping to find some stability as they got ready to become parents. However, things unraveled when rumors of Gaiman’s cheating surfaced. Palmer discovered he had been seeing other women, including one while she was in the later stages of her pregnancy. This betrayal, along with others, caused cracks in their relationship that only got worse over time.
Things went public in 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic brought a huge rift in their relationship into the spotlight. Gaiman moved back to the UK, leaving Palmer and their son in New Zealand. Fans were baffled by the separation during such a crazy time, and it sparked all kinds of rumors about their marriage falling apart. By the end of 2022, they officially divorced. Looking back, they both said the split came down to different priorities and losing their shared sense of direction. Palmer described their once lively relationship as struggling to handle how much they’d drifted apart, while Gaiman admitted he played a part in the distance growing between them.
Amanda Palmer’s Role in the Controversy Surrounding Neil Gaiman’s Allegations
Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer’s divorce was just the start of more public scrutiny. In 2024, a Tortoise Media podcast called Master: The Allegations Against Neil Gaiman revisited old accusations and brought up new ones, highlighting serious claims of s*xual misconduct involving Gaiman. Multiple women shared their experiences, with some alleging that he used consensual BDSM as a cover for abusive and coercive behavior. One of them, Scarlett Pavlovich, who used to nanny for Gaiman and Amanda Palmer’s son, accused him of s*xually assaulting her in 2022. Another woman, Kendra Stout, said she had a years-long relationship with Gaiman that turned physically harmful. Altogether, eight women have spoken out, with accusations ranging from coercion to outright violence.
Palmer’s involvement in the drama surrounding her ex-husband is a subject of heated debate. Some people have called her out for enabling or even being complicit in Gaiman’s alleged behavior. Pavlovich, for instance, said she opened up to Palmer about an incident with Gaiman, but Palmer’s response was mostly shock and a suggestion to try therapy. There are also claims that Palmer helped set up relationships between Gaiman and vulnerable women. Rachel, a fan who later became romantically involved with him, said Palmer introduced them and later felt like she was treated as a “toy” passed between them.
The Vulture exposé from January 2025 stirred the pot even more by digging into the couple’s open marriage and its ethical ambiguities. It spilled the tea on Gaiman’s interactions with fans, some of which people are now calling predatory. In a few cases, Palmer’s actions—or her silence—were painted as playing a big part in how things played out. The public’s turning on Palmer too, slamming her for not calling Gaiman out even though it looks like she knew what was going on.
The media finally EXPOSED Neil Gaiman’s sick, perverted behavior.
The publishing industry covered for the Sandman creator, and he used his fame to abuse young girls while covering for himself by espousing feminism publicly.
It’s worse than you think.
A thread. 🧵 pic.twitter.com/jtXRAvHRen
— Jon Del Arroz | Pop Culture & Gaming 🎮 (@jondelarroz) January 13, 2025
Gaiman’s team has brushed off the allegations, calling them misunderstandings of BDSM practices and denying any non-consensual behavior. Still, the growing accusations have seriously damaged his reputation. As for Palmer, she’s mostly stayed quiet but hasn’t dodged the backlash either. In a time when people are more tuned in to power dynamics and abuse, their story brings up tough questions about responsibility and accountability in both personal and work relationships.
Today, Amanda Palmer splits her time between New York City, Woodstock, and Boston with her son, focusing on her music and writing. Meanwhile, Neil Gaiman keeps up with his creative projects but faces a growing cloud of allegations that complicate his public image.
